I've had laryngitis, tonsillitis, hepatitis,
meningitis, appendicitis, tendonitis
and colitis.

I've been held up, held down, hung up,
strung up, stood up, bulldozed, bloody-nosed,
blackjacked, hijacked, squeezed, frisked,
and mooched. Stuck with excess profits tax,
personal property tax, excise tax, surtax,
liberty bonds, and the bonds of matrimony.

I've help the Red Cross, the White Cross,
and often been double-crossed. Helped the
Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, and a few Talent Scouts.
Helped children's hospitals, mental hospitals,
VA hospitals, spoke out for civil rights,
women's rights, animal rights, men's relief,
and stomach relief.

I have worked for a dog, and worked like a dog,
and still lost all I had. I've been set aside,
pushed aside, hit broadside, and had to sit
outside. Demoted and misquoted. Walked
on, jumped on, dumped on, rained on, snowed
on, stomped on, spit on, cut on, and ratted on.

I've been put off, ran off, and ripped off.
Intimidated, interrogated, berated, separated,
and violated. I've been cussed, and discussed,
boycotted, stunned, shunned, and shocked.
Criticized, despised, ostracized, victimized,
brutalized, capsized, analyzed, and ill-advised.
Slapped, trapped, and wire-tapped. I've been
used, abused, bruised, refused, confused,
but never excused. Talked about, lied about,
lied to, bawled out, chewed out, kicked out,
knocked out, but never bailed out.

I've been assailed, derailed, and blackmailed.
Scammed, slammed, burned, stung, stoned,
robbed, cheated, booed, sued, misconstrued,
and almost drowned.

And the only reason I'm sticking around is...???

I just want to see what's gonna' happen next!

Source: Mikey's Funnies
Used with permission