TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead - Go Slow."

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math
multiplication on the floor?

CINDY: You told me to do it without using the tables!

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L

TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O

TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't have ten years ago.

WILLIE: Me!

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is…

TEACHER: No, Ellen…Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right…I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly,
do you say prayers before eating?

SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog"
is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?

PUPIL: A teacher.

Source: Mikey's Funnies
http://www.MikeysFunnies.com