If my body were a car, this is the time I
would be thinking about trading it in for a
newer model. I've got bumps and dents and
scratches in my finish and my paint joy is
getting a little dull,
but that's not the
worst of it.
My fenders are too wide to be considered
stylish. They were once as sleek as a little
MG; now they look more like a Buick.
My seat cushions have split open at the
seams.
My seats are sagging.
Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy
Cremes
opened a shop in my neighborhood!
Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have
these days are under my eyes. Not counting
the saddlebags, of course.
I have soooo many miles on my odometer.
Sure I've been many places and seen many
things, but when 's the last time an
appraiser factored life experiences against
depreciation?
My headlights are out of focus and it's
especially
hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once
was.
I slip and slide and skid and bump into
things
even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose
veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it...almost every
time I sneeze,
cough or sputter...either my
radiator leaks
or my exhaust backfires.
