In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in your life.

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

You enjoy hearing about other's operations.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your secrets are safe with friends because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

You have "great friends" who think of you often and send you lists like this!

Author Unknown
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Midi playing ~ "Struttin' "
Composed and © 1999 David W. Folsom

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